Mindful Love: Unexpected Lessons I Learned From Being A Tinder Photographer

This summer marks three years of supporting men with their online dating profiles and being the dating photographer. I started off this crazy journey by photographing a good friend of mine for his Tinder profile, just after I learned photography. After he had immense success with his new photos, I decided to offer it to more people. Since then, I photographed more than 100 men in several cities around Europe and have expanded to work with other talented photographers as well. It has been my mission to create attractive photos of everyone, and while doing that, I have encountered many beautiful moments and have learned many surprising things that I would like to share with you here, for the first time ever.

Men are beautiful

There is something very special about these photo shoots I have been doing and the energy that arises. I have to say, I showed men to me in a totally different light. Getting your photos taken (especially when it is for a dating app) requires a certain vulnerability and willingness to let your raw self be seen. This has been very beautiful. Though a photo shoot can actually feel like a first date (you meet, go for a walk, get to know each other), the energy is totally different to first online dates I experienced myself. There is such authenticity that I wished back when I was still online dating myself. The time spent with these people is incredibly refreshing, almost therapeutic. And it seems to be amazing for them too. People feel seen and they are beaming with light. And they are so thankful.

People don’t know how beautiful they are

Many people don’t realize they can take attractive photos of themselves. My photos can make people realize how beautiful they are and I have the ability to make people look attractive. Because from the right angle and with the right angle, I tell you, everyone can look good.

People enjoy having their photo taken, even if they are nervous in the beginning

Many of my clients are very nervous before the photo shoot. One guy even told me he was considering cancelling the day before because he was so nervous. He told me this towards the end of our photo shoot, laughing about how silly that would have been, because he surprised himself with how much fun he had. And this is what happens most of the time. It might take a few test shots and a little warming up, but even the most shy guys get used to being photographed and have a HUGE smile on their face by the end of it.

We are all here for connection

Whether you are looking for your SO or just a ONS - when it comes down to it, we are all looking for connection. We are all looking for different things in different moments in our life - and that’s ok! I believe it is just important to be honest about it. But one can really sum it up as that we all just want connection, in whatever form that may be.

Online dating sucks. For some people

I am not gonna lie, it’s tough out in the dating world. And online dating is no different. It is a very useful channel for some people and I know a bunch of people who met there SO there. However, I still believe it should not be your only channel. Because you never know what you get. Some people find what they are looking for on the first date, others haven’t found anything after many trials. Hence the disappointment by many people. So, it is always good to have your feelers out in the real world, keep expanding your circle and cultivating your hobbies. This will make you more desirable for the dating game anyway.

Online dating is whatever you want it to be

I have met all kinds of people that used dating apps for all kinds of purposes: one guy used it for making friends, he said him and his group of friends frequently use Tinder for meeting people and expanding their circle of friends. Another guy was doing what I call “extreme dating”, going on a different date every night. Since that quickly started getting boring, he started to take his first dates to unique locations, like the Berlin sex club KitKat. When he told the latest girl he was writing on Tinder with about his typical first date location, she said she wanted to do something even better and more unique. This turned into the most adventurous first date I ever heard of: they met at the airport and went to Budapest for the weekend. (They had a good time, but they did not hit it off.)

Tinder is not the only platform

It is not indeed! I used to think that Tinder was the main one. But many of my clients are actually just using apps like Bumble or OkCupid. Especially guys who are looking for a relationship are more likely on OkCupid.

Men really do not have many pictures of themselves

Wow. They really do not. Most of my clients have told me that they just do not have any good photos of themselves. They are usually just bad and blurry photos taken by a friend at their latest drinking escapade. Which is not very attractive. Women, on the other hand, naturally seem to have photo of themselves. It is more common for us to be out with our girlfriends and take cute photos, either during brunch or when we are all dolled up and going out.

What makes a successful photo shoot is a calm person and fun attitude

Recently I had a consultation call with a client and he asked me what makes a good photo shoot. I had to really sit and think about that. At first, a nice attire came to my mind. But then I realized that those were not the best photo shootings. The most surprising one I ever had was a guy who did not look so great in his current Tinder profile (he sent it to me before the photo shoot). I thought this would be a tough one. But he came and the jaw line of his face was absolutely gorgeous (something he would have never realized) and he was so calm that every photo turned out great and he had such a fun attitude that we got loads of different types of photos.

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It has been an absolute pleasure capturing you beautiful bastards and helping you find connection in times of isolation, and I look forward to more of this crazy journey.

And if you want to upgrade your online dating profile and get better photos, we are here for you in London, Dublin, Paris, Vienna, Budapest, Prague, Milan, Warsaw, Berlin, Hamburg, Munich, Frankfurt, Cologne, Madrid, Barcelona, New York, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Chicago, Houston, Phoenix, Philadelphia, Vancouver, Toronto, Montreal, Sydney, Perth & Melbourne. Just reach out to us and send us an email to hi@datingphotos.net.